Celebration!

So I had an exam yesterday for this job that I really really want. If I can get out of my current job and go somewhere else, that'd be awesome. I love my manager, and I have learned to enjoy the people that I work with, and my job isn't taxing, but it's completely unfulfilling and I have to see that douchebag Big Wig who never says hello to me.

I've been trying to find fulfillment by volunteering for our United Way campaign at work, doing my writing on the side, and finding things at work to challenge myself like becoming Acting Manager for a month. But I know where my heart lies, and that's in writing, and so I want a job that involves writing. The job I tested for yesterday involves writing. I hope I passed the exam. Today I had the interview portion for it and I hope I passed that too.

I've been stressed sick the past week just prepping and thinking about it. I'm so glad it's all over and now it's just a matter of waiting to hear back. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

After the interview, I ran to the closest music shop to buy the new Madonna greatest hits CD and DVD.



That way, instead of today being the day I went for the interview and possibly screwed it all up, today became the day I got the new Madonna greatest hits CD and DVD!! Yay! How did I do on the interview? I don't know, I think I did so so. I was stumped by one question but managed to muddle through. I studied for it as best I could, though I could've spent more time reading up on policies and legislation I suppose.

In other news, I hung out with The Guy again on Sunday night. I went over to visit him and Buster the Cat and we just hung out and chatted while he cooked his lunches for the week. It was really sweet and nice and we had good conversation and it was nice being around him. He also sent me a nice text message last night to see how my exam went. I'm not sure where this new affection is coming from, but hey I'm enjoying it!!

Movies: The Proposal

Gee, how do YOU think this movie turns out? Sandra Bullock plays a mean boss who is on the verge of getting deported, so she orders her minion played by Ryan Reynolds to marry her. They don't like each other AT FIRST, but you can pretty much guess where this is gonna go.

Yeah, it's predictable. Is it terrible though? No. It's not spectacular either. I wasn't bored but I wasn't blown away. I was impressed with Sandra Bullock however. When I say that, what I really mean is that she didn't annoy the hell out of me like she normally does. Maybe it's because she was acting next to Ryan Reynolds, who may be hot but is a known douchebag and asshole and therefore completely sickening to watch on screen.

If you like the chick flick genre, then Rent It

Eating: Diamond

On Saturday night, Alexis and I drank our way across town and wound up at a new establishment in Gastown called Diamond. (Thanks to Chris for telling me about this place!)



It was AWESOME!!! They're going for a prohibition-era style with classic drinks on the menu. The vibe in there was super friendly, and I didn't feel intimidated or that I had to look like a supermodel to be in there. I mean, there were some very good looking folks around, dressed to the nines, but there were also hipsters and ordinary people just hanging out having a good time. The room was buzzing with conversation and the noise level was so loud from it that my ears were ringing.

Can't wait to go back!!

Eating: Angkor

I'm really beginning to like The Drive. Victoria Drive, that is. Commercial Drive is great too, but the exciting stuff is really happening further up when Commercial turns into Victoria.

I mean, where else can you go for amazing dim sum, a Chinese banquet, butter chicken, sushi, authentic Mexican food, Vietnamese pho and sub sandwiches, schnitzel, al halal meats, and bubble tea, all in a 5 block radius? Don't forget coronary inducing eats like McDonalds, Churchs Fried Chicken, Dairy Queen, and a number of pizzerias in the area as well. This used to be heavy with Portuguese shops but has since been overtaken by the Asian invasion, and now is opening up to more cultures and proving to be a diverse stretch of road in terms of food!

Adding to that diaspora of cuisine is the newly opened Angkor, which specializes in Cambodian delicacies. It's sparse inside, but the food warmed me right up on a chilly blustery Autumn day. Philip and I had the chicken wings to share, which we polished off within minutes. My pho was just what I needed to help me in fighting off this cold that's been going around, while Philip's beef stew dish was completely cleaned out from his bowl.

A welcome addition to this up and coming multi-faceted area!

"Go lay down, I'll undress you."

Joan is my hero on Mad Men. In this last episode, when her husband comes home with the bad news that he did not make chief resident doctor at the hospital, she swallows down her disappointment - having already quit her job at the ad agency - and tries her darndest to comfort her man! Oh the 60s!!

If you haven't seen this show, it's so well done. I love the time period and it's so interesting to see all the things that were wrong in the 60s, from smoking and drinking while pregnant to littering mindlessly in the park to the treatment of women, as this is before women's liberation came into existence, not to mention gay liberation.

Movies: The Young Victoria

Emily Blunt stars as Queen Victoria in the period piece The Young Victoria. It was a rather fun watch! Her life didn't seem as dramatic as say Queen Elizabeth, but it was still a lovely movie, done superbly with costumes, sets, and locations (Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace).

I want to time travel for a day and go back to the mid-1800s to attend a fancy Victorian ball where people are announced at the door upon arrival!! It was splendid fun, and Emily Blunt was fantastic in it!

GO SEE IT!

Loss and Found

My shrink is teaching me to think differently. First there was the inner critic that likes to whisper in my ear 24/7, telling me I'm not good enough, I can't do this, and I don't deserve that. I've learned to quiet that inner critic down and tell him to piss off. I've learned to take compliments. I've learned to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me.

When it comes to people and relationships though, it's hard for me to enjoy the moment. It's like reading a book and flipping to the end to see what happens. Actually, I NEVER flip to the end of the book. So why can't I apply that to dealing with feelings, emotions, relationships, etc? Why can't I just enjoy the read!?!

It's because I've had a lot of loss in my life. Before I turned 20, I had already been to 4 funerals, including my father's, grandfather's, and brother's memorial. So, loss is ingrained in me. It's a natural part of life, but it's tough to grow up with that mentality that knowing someday, those around you will no longer be here.

Even when I had a pet cat for a few years, the entire time I had her, I mourned her. On a daily basis, I would think to myself how I would outlive this creature and how sad that would be for me. I mean, I enjoyed having her, but at the back of my mind I always knew she'd be gone someday. And when that day came, I didn't feel anything. I guess because I had already dealt with it in my mind the entire time I had her.

So now with The Guy. Before my shrink, I was always What's going on? What's happening? Does he like me? Always trying to define it, see if it was worth investing in, or if I should quit while I'm ahead. My shrink said I could easily walk away, cut him out of my life, and avoid getting hurt. That's the risk if I stick around and nothing happens or if he meets someone else - I will get hurt. But is that a way to live? A life of safety where you never get hurt, but you also never fully put yourself out there?

The shrink asked me if I could go back in time and choose to have never met The Guy, would I do so? It would certainly save me from my heartache of the past while, but in the same breath, it would take away all that I've gained from knowing him and having him in my life. So the answer of course is no, of course not. I would never wish to have never met him.

With that revealation, I'm learning to enjoy the time that I spend with The Guy. Instead of pining for him (though I do that too!) and feeling sad that he may one day meet someone else, I'm choosing to enjoy the moments we do get to spend together. Like this past weekend when he told me stories of his childhood, about his brothers, about his mom and dad. I wasn't fretting about a future with him, instead I was listening and enjoying the moment.

So instead of seeing things as a constant impending loss, it's time I start looking at things in terms of gain and all that I've gained from the people I know and have/had in my life. It's a new way of thinking I feel like I have only just found.

Google Voice

Too bad this service is only available in the US (for now...)

Google Voice provides you with one number. One number that you can use to forward to anywhere you want, any phone you want. You still need a phone service, but now you can move to a different city and not have to worry about giving out your new phone number - u just gotta change where your Google number is forwarded to. You can listen to voicemails online or you can read a written transcript of them! And did I mention the free long distance calling??

The Cement Garden

Watched this British movie called The Cement Garden. Madonna watched it years ago and was so inspired by it, she sampled some dialogue from it and used it in her song What It Feels Like For a Girl. Below is the clip of that scene.

It's the story of four siblings whose parents die within a week or so of each other and they are left to fend for themselves. Throw in a little Flowers in the Attic action and you've got yourself an interesting little arthouse film of sorts.



Not something I'd recommend for everyone, but if you enjoy watching cinema that's off the beaten path, then here you go!

Rent It

He Hates Me

The Big Wig at work hates me.

I had resolved to not acknowledge him in the hallways anymore since that's the courtesy he extends to me. He only talks to me if he needs something. Unfortunately, today I ran into him unexpectedly in the hall and so of course, being the friendly employee at work, I say hello and he walks by, no acknowledgement of my existence whatsoever.

Seriously, who DOES that? Like, way to be a fucking leader you piece of ass wipe!

UGHH!

Haven't felt the urge to bitch or moan or complain about work in a long time, but seeing that asshole's ugly face in the hall and his abrupt snub at me has me in a complete rage over it! Why do I even care? I don't know. I just have no idea what I did to him to make him give me the cold shoulder like that. So unprofessional and elitist and I can go on and on, but whatever I need to calm it down and go have a drink!!! OY!!

The Guy, Buster the Cat, and Me

HOW EFFIN CUTE IS THAT CAT?!!?!!? His name is Buster, and The Guy is catsitting him at the moment. I was laying in bed yesterday morning trying to recover from the night before, when the phone rang breaking me out of my hangover haze. It was The Guy, who was on his way to the AIDS Walk. Yeah, that's right. Bright and early on a Sunday morning, he's down at Stanley Park partaking in a charity event while I am wiping the booze-flavoured spittle off my pillow.

We talk briefly, he tells me about the Twink from the night before, who is just a friend that really wanted to go to the Pet Shop Boys and as it turns out, The Guy had won tickets for the show on the radio months ago and had forgotten, so when his Twink friend mentioned the show, he was all, "I think I won tickets for that, if you want to go!"

I went for brunch with Jill to try to cure my hangover, and after I call up The Guy to see if he's still around. He asks me if I know anything about cats. DO I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CATS?!!!? DO I!?!?! I ONLY HEART CATS!!!!



So he asked me to come help him out with Buster, whom he is taking care of for the next two weeks. Buster and he get along normally, but now that Buster's owner is away, Buster is not being that friendly to The Guy. In fact, Buster was hissing at him the other day. So, The Guy was all frantic and I had to go over and use my Cat Whispering technique and was able to seduce that cat the moment I stepped into the door!!! Why? Because I HEART CATS!!! And this cat knew it! This cat GOT IT! And this cat calmed the fuck down once he knew that The Guy was friends with a Cat Whisperer like myself!!!

So The Guy was more than grateful that I was able to work my charms with Buster. We then made chilli and hung out for the rest of the day, talking, hanging out, grocery shopping, and it was a really lovely Sunday to cap off an already fantastic weekend!

Note that I opted to snap photos of THE CAT rather than The Guy yesterday!!!

Neil Patrick Harris hosts the Emmys

Did you watch? Neil Patrick Harris' opening number was so good. He should host every awards show ever!!

Viva la Pet Shop Boys

Here are the boys doing a cover of Coldplay's Viva La Vida on Saturday night:

We Were Never Being Boring

Wow, Saturday night's Pet Shop Boys concert was brilliant!! Fantastic show!!



I went with The Ex and while we were waiting in the theatre lobby to go inside, who do I see, but THE GUY!!??! O M G!!

I haven't told The Ex about The Guy, like nothing. I guess I just feel weird talking about The Guy to The Ex. Is that bad? Anyway, I went to say hi to The Guy, while The Ex talked to our friends Lukasz and Mike, who ended up outing me to my Ex. "Oh that's The GUY," they told him.

The Guy had shown up with this twinky fellow, and I didn't know what to think at first. I gave him a half hug and The Guy said, "What are you doing? Hug me with both arms." I told him I felt like I was intruding on them, and he said, "You are never intruding." So I gave him a real hug. It was nice.



When I got back to The Ex, he asked me who The Guy was and I said he was someone I volunteered for. Then he asked if I liked him and I confessed that yes, I did. It was semi-awkward but I guess it shouldn't matter anymore. He and I have been apart for a year now, if not longer, and I know he's already seeing other people and even has a person of interest, so why can't I, right? It still felt weird though.



So The Guy and his twink sat several rows behind us. I knew he could see me and perhaps I was dancing about a little harder than normal just to get his attention or to let him know that I was having fun even though my mind was racing about.

When the Pet Shop Boys sang Jealousy, I was instantly resonating with the song and its lyrics....

Where've you been?
Who've you seen?
You didn't phone when you said you would...
Do you lie?
Do you try
To keep in touch? You know you could
I've tried to see your point of view
But could not hear or see
For jealousy

I never knew time passed so slow
I wish I'd never met you...



The twink turned out to be a friend and nothing more. I saw The Guy after the show and asked if he had fun and he told me it was a good concert and that he could see me dancing about and that *I* was the concert... heh.

The Pet Shop Boys didn't sing What Have I Done To Deserve This, which caused me major sadness. I was also looking forward to Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money). The set was so simple and effective, though, made up entirely of white cardboard boxes, which would collapse and crumble and then get rebuilt again into different shapes and walls, which was used as a projection screen. At the end, they were lifted into the air and spiraled like hanging mobiles. So good!!!

Anyway, I got to spend the entire day today with The Guy, so it was a great weekend overall! I'm enjoying the time that we get to spend together and look forward to more of it.

One of my favourite songs in the entire world is by the Pet Shop Boys, and when they sang it, I was in heaven. Here's Being Boring:

The Boy In The Striped Pajamas

The Boy In The Striped Pajamas is a WW2 movie told from a child's perspective. It's the story of Bruno, a little boy whose father is an SS Officer, and who moves the whole family out to the "country" where they live near a "farm." The farm turns out to be a concentration camp, and Bruno ends up befriending a boy the same age as him, but who is always wearing a pair of striped pajamas...

It wasn't bad. It was an okay watch, nothing too spectacular or awful. The music, the way it was shot, was all very melodramatic however.

Rent It

Celebration video, version 2.0

Look for daughter Lourdes at the 2:44 mark, wearing her mom's Like a Virgin wedding dress outfit. She really looks like her, eh?

Madonna - Celebration (Fan Version)

Busy!

Hey there,

I've been busy guest blogging over at LaineyGossip.Com but just wanted to touch base and say hi. Things are going well, I've just been busy! will be back soon!

Ode to True Blue

YVR: Saturday Morning Cartoon Party!

This Saturday, the Rio Theatre will be host to another Saturday Morning Cartoon Party! Tickets available now online! I've never been but have been wanting to go, so will most likely check this out. Wear your pajamas, bring a bowl for discounts on the sugary cereals (Frankenberry, BooBerry, and more!!) and come enjoy the retro cartoons from 10am - 12pm, to be followed by a screening of the classic, The Neverending Story!

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Sadness.

Guest Blogging on LaineyGossip.Com!!

So I waited to the last possible minute to submit my entry into this contest that LaineyGossip.Com was having. For those who don't know of her site, she's basically the Canadian equivalent to Perez Hilton, and also does correspondence work for eTalk on CTV.

She's off to the Toronto Film Fest for 10 days and wanted to find someone to help her blog. The deadline was last Friday at midnight and the task was to submit a 200-300 piece on celebrity gossip. After a week, and receiving over 200 submissions, I received an email from her on Sunday night saying it was down to me and 2 others!!

What!!! So, finally, yesterday afternoon, I received the call telling me that I had won!! This is pretty exciting, and I can't wait to get started!! I hope I do a good job, as she's got a huge readership that are expecting some well-written posts!!

Here's the announcement on her site yesterday!! Yay!!

Special Thanks go out to Emily for kicking me in the ass to do this, and to Chris who initially supplied me with that Party In The U.S.A. video created by the Fire Island gay guys!

Swarm 2009 !

Time for the annual Fall art gallery hop known as Swarm!!

It takes place this Thursday and Friday around town and if you haven't swarmed before, it's one of the most interesting experiences you can have here in Vancouver! From the amazing artwork one can come across to the neighbourhoods you get to explore that you might never have before (i.e. the Downtown Eastside).

I've been looking forward to this all summer!!

The Games People Play, or How I Ended Up Posing with a Katamari Character!

See this photo? You're probably wondering, What in the Hell...?

So anyway, this past long weekend, for some insane reason, I decided to head down to Seattle with some friends. Why would I do that on Labour Day Weekend? Why would we choose to go to a city that was hosting 1) the opening season college football game of Louisiana vs. Washington Huskies, 2) the Bumbershoot Music Fest, and 3) PAX - a giant Gamer's convention. Not to mention the opening weekend of the musical Wicked, which is making the Paramount theatre its home for the next month.



We decided to head down early Saturday morning and managed to get through the border after only 20 minutes! That is unheard of on a regular day, let alone Labour Day Weekend!! Coming back on Sunday night, it was only 30 minutes!

Seattle is such a fun city. I should really go down there more than I do. And I didn't even do any gay clubbing or anything! There was lots of shopping - great Labour Day Weekend sales! We walked through Pike Place Market, visited the very first Starbucks again, snacked at Top Pot Donuts, drank at Wild Ginger, and ate outside on the pier at Ivar's. We even fit in a walk through Pioneer Square, got drenched in a morning downpour, and grocery shopped at Trader Joe's.





We also made a trip to the Experience Music Project/Sci-Fi Museum, and it was totally fun! With exhibits on Jimi Hendrix, the Seattle music scene through the ages, a viewing of Michael Jackson's sequined glove and jacket, and a special presentation on the Space Age, which showcased album covers and sounds from the 60s.

Upstairs held their Sound Lab, which lets visitors play about with music instruments, mixing machines, and even sound studios to record songs and make your own CD! We even got to play around with a Theremin!



Next door was the Science Fiction museum which was interesting too, with artifacts from the set of the original series of Star Trek. It was small but was packed with enough stuff to satisfy any Sci-Fi enthusiast.

The picture at the top of this entry was taken when we snuck into the PAX conference to witness all the gamers in all their glory. I mean, there were many people dressed up as characters from games. The only one I recognized was some girl as Lara Croft Tomb Raider. Apparently, Star Trek The Next Generation's Wil Wheaton was in attendance. Apparently he's always in attendance.

So upon entering, I squealed in delight at the sight of a character from the video game Katamari, dancing about. I'm not a big gamer at all, but I am familiar with Katamari, having played it for the first time when I was a little stoned during a trip to Toronto. This character was there to promote the game, I suppose, but I insisted on a photo op and so voila, my favourite moment of the trip!!

Well, I lie. My favourite moment was probably when I checked my voicemail to hear that The Guy had called just to say hi and to wish me a happy long weekend. I know it sounds tiny and insignificant but it meant so much to me.

Hope you all had a fantastic long weekend!

Movies: Terminator Salvation

Yawn.

Tried to watch this over a two-day period and I didn't even get halfway. It was boring.

Skip!

Movies: One Week

Meah.

This postcard to Canada is charming but didn't manage to hold my interest to the very end. It's a cross-country love affair between Joshua Jackson's character and his home and native land. The movie dragged on for a bit in the end and overall, I can't say it was totally amazing though it had some nice moments. It's good for those who want to do a road trip across Canada but never actually intend on doing so.

The Guy, Diapers, and Dating

I spent all of last week doing volunteer work with The Guy. It was awesome to be doing good work and to be hanging out with him. He gave me hugs and kisses throughout the week much to my heart's content, and even added a few pats on the head here and there and if I had a tail, it sure would have been wagging.



Now that the week is over, I've set aside time for myself to come down from that high. The week consisted of getting a group of 23 teenagers together from across the country, having them bond and inspire one another, and then put on a show akin to a beauty pageant and the whole time knowing that everyone's helping to raise money for a cancer charity. It's a heightened experience and last month's similar show that The Guy put on left me depressed the next day when I found myself riding the bus to work, back to my daily grind and commute when the night before was filled with tiaras and tears.

So, luckily this event was held on Saturday night, which left me Sunday to come down and relax and get into the headspace that after a week of hanging with The Guy, I might not hear from him in awhile, since school starts up very soon and as a teacher, he's going to be busy prepping for that. I did end up hearing from him a day later, after he had woken up from a 14 hour sleep - poor Guy didn't get any sleep last week! So, that was nice.

Part of me is still holding on to a sliver of hope for something to come of whatever The Guy and I have going on. The other part of me has gone out and tried to take on the dating scene, but so far the results have been dismal.

Take for example, this guy I met on the Internet who seemed cute and nice and was looking for coffee dates. Sounds good to me, so we connected and was in the midst of arranging some java when he sends me an email and asks what I like to do sexually and then asks if I would consider wearing a diaper.



Um, well, gee. We haven't even met yet. But I thought, maybe I could wear a diaper. So sure, why not.

But then he replied and basically asked me not to go Number Two for a few days and to save it up for him.

Of course, I immediately had to put the brakes on this as that is just not something I am into. It was disappointing because he seemed like he'd be a nice guy, a good catch. And maybe he is still, but this diaper/shit thing? I'm sorry. I can't.

Then there was the bi guy who wanted to meet up with me. He was pretty cute, but aloof. On MSN, it was always me who instigated the conversation. That is, until the day he found out that I used to do drag. After that, he was obsessed with me finding my old drag outfits and wanting to see me in them. He'd message me constantly, "Did you find your old outfits?? Did you look yet?" I eventually told him that I'd hung up my stockings and could no longer find my old pair of panties I used to don, along with my wigs and hose. I thought this would discourage him and get him to back off, since I wasn't interested in dressing like a woman for his kicks.

Instead, he replied: "Oh, that's okay that you can't find your panties. Maybe you can wear my WIFE'S."

W T F!!!!!!!



So, needless to say, I have run screaming from the dating scene. Can you see why I'm hung up on The Guy, who does charity work and is awesome in every way possible? No diapers, no wife...? Balls!!!