Movies: Crazy Stupid Love

I was at the preview of Crazy Stupid Love this week, amidst all my volunteering duties for the Outgames. It was nice to sit and relax for a few hours. I haven't seen a bad movie all summer and my trend continues, though this was probably my least favourite out of everything I've seen thus far. And that's only because this is not really a laugh out loud comedy, but more drama. It's good, don't get me wrong. It's just not Bridesmaids or Bad Teacher or Horrible Bosses.



What it is however, is Emma Stone being awesome, Ryan Gosling looking HOT!!!, and Julianne Moore being under-utilized. The story is smart and has its share of surprises. One thing I didn't like is its stance on Soul Mates and how they tote the message that everyone has their One Soul Mate out there. Not that I'm turning sour or bitter when it comes to the love department, but really? Come on now. I used to believe in soul mates, and I think part of me still does, but I guess I wonder if sending a message like that out there is really all that good? I suppose there's nothing wrong with having more romantics in the world, right? I guess you just gotta take it with a grain of salt and if you're going to believe that yes soul mates exist, then you should probably also know that so does heartache and pain. Just saying.

Rent It

The Return of Crazy

So. I let the Crazy Coworker back into my life a smidge, thinking he had changed and was better to deal with now, but turns out, nope, he's still CRAZY.

July has been a rough month, and I appreciate those of you who have reached out and been supportive, whether you're a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger I haven't even met. Thank you.

Often times I feel like I'm a good friend to most people and am there for them, so in my time of need it was nice to see the favour returned for the most part.

With Mr Crazy however, his reactions to what was going on with me were a bit abnormal and not comforting whatsoever. When I discussed the situation with The Guy with him, he'd start grilling me with questions like, "How did he tell you that he was seeing someone else? Was it a big production??? Or was it just mentioned casually in a conversation? What's the new boyfriend look like? Is he hot?"

Um, when I'm trying to tell you about how broken my heart is, those questions are not helpful, savvy?

When I sent him a photo of The Guy's new boyfriend, his reply was, "He looks like he has a nice body."

OH REALLY? WELL THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH ASSHOLE.

A few weeks back when I attended my murdered coworker's funeral and watched him get cremated in front of us, he texted me on the phone, "When are you back in the office?"

Fortunately, the service was done by the time he messaged me but what if it wasn't? It was only noon after all. How inappropriate, I thought. And if you are going to text, wouldn't it be more fitting to ask how the FUCKING FUNERAL WAS or gee, I don't fucking know, maybe HOW ARE YOU?

Shit.

So then I replied I would be back in an hour or so. He wrote back, "I guess you don't have time to go for a walk." And he followed this up with a frowny face. :( A FROWNY FACE! BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO GO FOR A WALK WITH HIM!!!! Perhaps he had some errands he wanted to run with me alongside?? I told him I was just leaving the funeral, you fucking fuckwit.

He then asked, "Was it open casket? Did you find out what happened? Did you meet his parents?"

W T F.

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO MUCH.

Anyway, one day he did mention, "You know, last night I was thinking to myself: I should stop being so self centered. I should start asking people more questions about their lives."

So we talked about that for a bit. Yes, we talked about him being self centered. So basically, we were STILL TALKING ABOUT HIM.

OMG, I don't even CARE anymore if I piss him off. I swore I wouldn't be passive aggressive about it and instead, call him on his shit this time around, but frankly, I just don't CARE.

I would rather have zero friends at work than have to deal with this sociopath!!

The Outgames are Here!

So the North American Outgames are in town this week!

I'm volunteering for them and it's been fun and chaotic and a great way to meet new people! I'll be volunteering all week, and it's Pride as well! So, definitely hoping to have a good week ahead!

The Guy is also volunteering. I bumped into him last week at the orientation session and it was very nice. Saw him again yesterday during a shift, and had a memorable and sweet exchange. I don't want to go into details about it because I don't want to place too much significance on it, as I guess I am trying to move on somehow, but yeah, it was really fucking nice.

Anyhow, happy Pride to everyone and enjoy the Outgames!!

I'll Be Your Teenage Dream Tonight

Oh to float around on a cotton candy cloud. That's what Katy Perry did last night at her last Canadian stop of her sold out California Dreams tour. I managed to snag tickets to the exclusive event after checking on Ticketmaster every single day until more tickets were released.

I loved that the entire show centered around her "kitty" and following her into a magical world full of candy and cupcakes. Her cover of Whitney's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" was a high point, as were all of her hits. I wished she had saved Teenage Dream for later on in the show instead of opening with it, but it was still awesome to jump up and down screaming like a schoolgirl when it started.

"Have you guys ever been depressed? Some of you don't even know what that word even means. Oh to be nine again." She was very interactive with the audience, talking and making jokes. It was nice to see that she comes across as funny and quirky live as she does in her videos. Her sense of humour really shines through! She talked about going bowling in Vancouver, how she loves Canada because we spell "coloured" the right way, because there is colour in U!

From the moment we stepped into the stadium, we were greeted with folks selling cotton candy. How fun is that! She had several moments where she allowed audience members up on the stage, including one lucky guy who was only allowed up if he took his shirt off. He complied, got up there, and got a kiss from Katy and she even allowed him to return one. Very sweet!

And not to mention the entourage of fans she brought up to dance during I Wanna Dance With Somebody. She took one girl aside and asked if she wanted to take a photo together for her Facebook. Too cute!

And then there's her singing ability. I've seen her sing live on tv and it has SUCKED. So, I did not expect much. But she delivered! She sounded great last night!

It was a fun show, light and fluffy and perfect for the summer!

Google Plus

What's the deal with Google+ ? Anybody?

I joined it the other day because I'd read it's better than Facebook and you can organize things so much easier and blah blah blah. It's tipped as being the next big thing. It doesn't make you uncomfortable not wanting to accept a friend request, it allows you to share your photos of a drunken night out with only your friends and not your family or work colleagues.

But so what? You can do that in Facebook too. It just takes a bit of time and creation of "lists" (as opposed to Google+'s "circles").

I don't know. I wasn't keen on the layout and was rather confused with how things worked...

If you want an invite to it, leave your email and I can send you one to try out.

Movies: Horrible Bosses

If you've been reading my blog since the days when I was Bitterwoo, you'll know that I've had my share of horrible bosses. I couldn't relate more to this movie if I tried. Yes, I've had horrific bosses in the past and yes, I've even contemplated their demise.

There's a lot of star power in this movie from Jennifer Aniston to Jason Sudekis, Colin Farrell to Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Donald Sutherland, and of course, Jason Bateman. I was laughing all over the place and wished the rest of the people in the audience were following suit. I think the jokes in here were a little too high brow for the suburban clientele I was sitting with, or they were too busy catching their breath from the last joke!

Anyhow, this is another perfect summer comedy that fits right up there with Bridesmaids and Bad Teacher, in my books.

See It!!

Movies: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Amazing. It all ends here. It's been a decade of Harry Potter novels and movies and it all comes to a fantastic ending. There's nothing like closure, is there?

See It.

Rest In Peace, RC

Today I went to the funeral of a coworker. No, it's not my Crazy Coworker. Crazy is still around and Crazy is still Crazy.

RC was a coworker who worked in my department, who was nice and friendly and always had a smile for everyone. He was gay as well, but not out. He was out to me because well, obviously.

Anyhow, he went missing two weeks ago and the news that he had died surfaced this week. It's all under very mysterious circumstances and I have heard rumours that he was murdered. It's very sad and tragic. He was 43 years old. I have not heard anything on the news about it, so I don't know if there is an official investigation or if they are ruling it out as something else?

He was a sweet, gentle soul.

Today's memorial service turned out to be a cremation ceremony, which none of us expected. We were all in a bit of shock after the service was over and they cremated him right in front of us. Well, they took him into a room next door and we could hear all the noises and the casket going in. One of my other coworkers was a pallbearer and had to be in that room, helping. He and RC were really close and so, thus given the honour of helping with this, though I can't even begin to imagine what that was like for him. There was a glass window for people to run up to and look through if they wanted to witness it.

It's a sombre day.

Rest in peace, RC. You are truly missed and the world has lost a bright light. My sympathies and condolences go out to all your friends and family.

The Guy

So The Guy texted me this week.

I know this was big for him. I know it took a lot for him to take that step.

It has been a rough July so far, emotionally. But I went to my shrink on the weekend and learned some stuff and gathered some tools to help me cope. One of the things I learned was that I often feel that people are using me, or out to use me. This is because I have been used before in the past, and so it's now been programmed into me that the only reason anyone would want anything to do with me is because they want something.

Anyhow, the text. He's currently in Toronto and he texted that he just wanted to say hi. So, to him and maybe moreso to me, this was a big deal, given the past two weeks we've had, and considering the emails we have exchanged.

The last I had heard, I had left the ball in his court. I had told him I was not going to contact him and that it was up to him if he wanted to contact me, and so he did. And I'm not reading too much into it because well, he is seeing someone.

But at the end of the day I was very glad to hear from him. Am I still holding a candle for him and waiting for him to fall in love with me? I'm trying not to. Do I still want him in my life and is it going to be difficult? Yes and yes.

I know this won't be easy, but I have to give it a try. I didn't think I was going to make the effort, since the last time it all blew up in my face. But last time I was in my 20s and last time it wasn't with The Guy, whom I am much much closer to than the other person all those years ago.

This is the journey I am choosing to take. Who's to say if it is right or wrong? I'll just have to see.

Martin Creed exhibit

This past weekend I visited the Rennie Collection, currently hosting an exhibit on British/Scottish artist Martin Creed. I was really excited about this show because it was one of his pieces that reached out to me one cold lonely night. Specifically, it was the piece "Work No. 560 - Everything is Going To Be Alright" which is on permanent display here in Vancouver on the outside of the Wing Sang building.



The first piece that you experience is a room full of pink balloons. It's titled "Half The Amount of Air in Any Given Space" and you literally have to walk through this room. I was basically screaming the entire way because I was TERRIFIED that one of the giant balloons was going to explode in my face. I have a major fear of balloons popping!!

I quite liked the second piece, named The Broccoli Prints, of which there were 1000.

One of the most hilarious and unique things I've ever seen in an art gallery has to be this installment, titled The Runners. It features stone-faced sprinters running through the art gallery at 20 second intervals. When the tour guide was trying to tell us about a piece, it was hard to not break into laughter when suddenly a sprinter would round the perimeter of the room. We were told that The Runners represent life (if death = stillness, then life = fast motion). The artist also wanted to create art in motion, as the runners become a blur of colour.

There was also a film of people inducing vomiting, and a room full of metronomes going. I highly enjoyed and recommend this exhibit! It runs until October.

This Used To Be My Playground

Early Saturday morning, I found myself out and about by 8am. Jessica had invited me to come help out at an event she was organizing that included building a brand new playground for an elementary school. Turns out the school is just five minutes away from me, so I had no excuse not to go help out! Plus, I got to hang with Jess.

But let's just say that I never need to see MULCH again ever!! I shoveled and moved mulch all morning long and I think I did something to my back! What an idiot!

But it was fun and I was thrilled to be helping out and giving back to the community. When the kids go back to school in the Fall, they'll be super excited to see their brand new playground, especially when their old one had been condemned!

Eating: Nelson The Seagull

On the weekend, Alexis and I hit up the new sandwich spot, Nelson the Seagull, named after Nelson Mandela, a fitting tribute since the owners of this Gastown eatery hail from South Africa.



It's a very cute place, with old school tiles that seem to be left over from whatever inhabited this space before. The clientele was notably all hipsters, with their skinny jeans and ironic 80s glasses. The food was delicious, and Alexis exclaimed, "I don't feel like I'm in Vancouver!"

Plus they sell these witty tote bags:

Today's Laugh Brought to You by Ke$ha

Joe Vs Jordan

So last night I went to the NKOTBSB concert. That's the New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys together on one stage. It was supposed to be New Kids vs Backstreet, but really let's get real. New Kids all the way!!!

I was there for Jordan Knight, but oh my goodness, when Joey McIntyre pulled his tanktop up to reveal his abs of steal, I think the entire arena exploded with estrogen. And that was just me.

So yeah, it was Joe vs Jordan. The Backstreet Boys were fine, but their songs are so fucking DEPRESSING!! Like seriously boys, what's with all the sappy forlorn ballads? I feel like cutting!!! Oy!

Opening act Matthew Morrison from Glee was no better. Iris and I would turn to each other when he wasn't doing a cover song and rather, sing something original from his latest cd, and we'd say to each other, "Let's go get a beer!" Thanks Mr Shuester for supplying us with our drinks/bathroom breaks.

So anyway, Joey McIntyre was bringing it! And he had me converted over from Jordan Knight's camp in the wink of an eye, and the flash of some skin!



However, I looked up one of his latest solo releases and the video's hot, but the song is only meah...



Then there's Jordan's latest solo release - good catchy dance tune, but video could've been a lot better...

Movies: Bad Teacher

Aside from drinking, the other thing that I've consistently been doing to get over my heartbreak is to distract myself with things that entertain me. It's not a stretch, considering I read and watch movies and television all the time anyway. Now I'm just doing it with a purpose.



So I went to watch Bad Teacher, and I was won over immediately when Cameron Diaz delivered the line: "Honey, take your dick out cause I'm going to suck it like I'm mad at it!"

Amazing.

Laughter just might be the best medicine.

I found this movie even funnier than Bridesmaids and loved it! What's not to love about a movie about a teacher who's mean to kids and couldn't care less?

A++++!

See it!

Random Hook Ups Don't Seem to Help

So, I'm finding that hooking up with random people in an effort to get over The Guy isn't quite helping.

I met two people yesterday. The first was to see if we wanted to hook up, so we just went for a drink. After the drink, we left the bar and who do I see walking up the street but The Guy's current new boyfriend. Blah.

Anyhow, we decided we would hook up later on sometime, so I ended going over to some other random person's place and hooking up with him. While I was there, I had a flashback and started thinking about The Guy.

You know things aren't going well when your random one night stand looks at you and says, "Are you okay?"

Obviously, I wasn't. So, I had to leave.

So yeah, random hook ups don't seem to be the answer...

Eating: Big Lou's Butcher Shop

I tried out Big Lou's Butcher Shop a week or so ago down in the outskirts of Chinatown. It's unbelievable! It's tiny and isn't really a sit-in kinda place although there are stools for you to sit and eat, which is what Jill and I did. I had the porchetta sandwich and it was DIVINE!!! OMG, it was crispy and so much amazing goodness. Can't wait to go back and have some more goodies at this place!

Eating: Faubourg

One way to get over a broken heart is to try and eat your emotions! Yay!!!

Actually, I honestly have zero appetite because I'm quite depressed, but I guess it doesn't hurt to try to go out and eat something. Philip took me to Faubourg in Kerrisdale a while back to help me cure a hangover. It was fabulous and I've been itching to go back to this little bakery cafe to check out their Afternoon Tea menu! Any takers?

Stronger Than Yesterday

So I had a good but rough weekend. I'm glad I went to the pageant and participated and helped out. I really didn't know how I was going to handle it, but I think I managed. I broke down a few times and cried but that shouldn't be too unexpected. Anyhow, not sure how much I want to get into it, but overall, I'm glad I went. Not sure what's going to happen with The Guy and myself. I know he wants me in his life still, but I don't know if I can do that, now that he's seeing someone. We talked a little bit today, but nothing too deep. We'll see where this chapter leads, and if it's time to move on to the next.

I don't know if a lot of people could have done what I did. It would have been a lot easier to just not go to the event and cut The Guy out, become bitter and just get over him. But right now, I don't feel bitter and just full of love. I think I've been bitter before in my life, and I'm not interested in being that person again.

On a different note, Friday night I went to the Britney Spears concert with my nieces. They wanted to see opening act Nikki Minaj, but I accompanied them to see Britney. She was surprisingly very good and I had a blast at her show! Who knew!? I saw her Circus tour a few years back and she was totally out of it and not at all engaged. She lipsynched badly and was just carried around the stage by her dancers. This time around though, she seemed way more into it and there was much more dancing on her part. Lots of hairography. It was a total blast, so if you have a chance to go see Britney's Femme Fatale tour this summer, you won't be disappointed!

Sadly, she didn't sing the song that I was listening to most of the weekend to help get me through this rough patch I'm having:

Grace and Fortitude

Those are two words I've been trying to live up to this weekend.

It's been a rough week. The event this weekend is a beauty pageant that The Guy puts on every year for charity. It's a good cause and the people who come to it are of good hearts and this isn't a typical "beauty pageant" in that it encompasses all shapes and sizes and places emphasis on the beauty within.

I have spent all year working on this with him, sending out press releases, interviewing candidates, and putting in my energy and time into it alongside him. When I found out last week he was seeing someone, and that this new someone would be at the pageant, my immediate reaction was to not go. I didn't think I could bear it. I've been in this position before, having to be friends with the person you love, and them dating someone else. It's not an easy ride, and I didn't want another go at it.

However, all week, the thought of not going to the pageant ate away at me. In fact, it pissed me off that I had invested so much of myself into it all year and suddenly felt like I had been banned from going. It was a self imposed ban, mind you. But I didn't think it was fair that this new guy got to go, and I didn't. So, I talked it out with The Guy, who was equally as torn up about me not going but didn't want to say anything as he wanted to give me space. But we managed to break through that wall of communication that he seems to have such a hard time with, and it was decided first by me, and then agreed to by him, that I would in fact go.

So I've been attending all weekend, beginning Friday morning up until this evening. The first person I met was the new boyfriend. I don't have much to say about him. He's nice, I suppose, but I really am not interested in pursuing that avenue. I'm nice to him, engaging him, helping him out with tasks, so it's not like I'm merely tolerating him or shunning him. I'm not embracing him as my new best friend, either.
I know it isn't his fault that I'm hurt.

So I carry on. I brought my A game, pitching in and helping out and showing that I am useful and a part of this. The Guy's mother embraced me in her arms when she saw me, because he had told her that I wasn't going to be there and she was sad about that. So, it was nice to get that reception from her. I actually ended up going over to her house to help pick up some stuff and saw a bunch of baby photos and high school pictures of The Guy.

I carry on with grace and fortitude. I have put on my best pageant smile and am walking the walk. The Guy had told me he was worried I might break down and that if I did, he would too and that he'd be a mess all weekend if that happened. I got through yesterday okay, as it was great to reunite with all the other people who come out every year to help with this event. Today was a bit tougher, when those same people started talking about The Guy's new boyfriend. "Isn't he cute?" one asked me. Meah. I wouldn't go that far, but then of course I'm biased against it.

However, it struck a chord, and it stayed with me all day until it manifested itself as a heavy heavy feeling in the centre of my chest. I knew I'd explode if I didn't run. So, I left a bit earlier than planned tonight, didn't say goodbye to The Guy, and drove the long highway home, tears blurring my vision for most of the journey.

One more day to go, and I would like to keep my head on straight for most of it. Tomorrow is the big show and the grand finale. In more ways than one. I'm not sure what's going to happen after it's all over. Do I need time to get over The Guy? Ignore him for awhile until I feel the love fading? Who knows how long that will take? Maybe I'll never see him again.

Whatever happens, I would like to take the higher road. I could easily turn bitter and depressed, take it out on him, heck not even show up tomorrow and really make him miss me. But I want to be classier than that. I also want some closure, I suppose, and maybe that's what this weekend is really all about. Closure, grace, and fortitude.